


Don't Let Me Go

by KurtbastianIsForever



Series: Don't Let Me Go [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Feels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 03:02:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7249480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurtbastianIsForever/pseuds/KurtbastianIsForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt receives a text message from Blaine asking Kurt to meet up and forgive him for cheating, again. Kurt accepts the invitation, but deserately tries to find a reason not to.<br/>Maybe Sebastian can help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Let Me Go

Kurt sat on his couch staring at his phone, nibbling on his thumb.

After breaking up with Blaine for catching him cheating again, Blaine had sent a message begging Kurt to meet up with him and give him another chance. And even though he knew what the outcome would be, he told Blaine they could meet later that night.

He was desperate. He knew it was wrong to let Blaine fling him around like he was doing, but he was desperate to convince himself that this time Blaine wouldn't break his heart. Just like he had convinced himself last time, and the time before that.

He put the palm of his hand up to his forehead as he tried to make sense of what he was doing. Was he really going to go crawling back to a man who was getting the message that cheating on Kurt would result in him being forgiven each time? Was he really going to let himself get hurt again just so he could hold hands, kiss, and snuggle with someone?

He shook his head and desperately tried to come up with a reason to reject Blaine's offer, yet he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried.

_This is what I get huh? This is what I get for believing I could actually have a love that involved no pain or heartbreak. And because of that, I deserve this._

The matter of the fact was that Kurt probably deserved what was happening to him. All those times he got jealous of other couples for being happy, all those times he gagged at Rachel and Finn making out, all those times he told himself that he would find someone who would love him the way he wanted to be loved.

And while he accepted the fact that this was happening for a reason, he began to wonder why all bad things happened to him all the time.

Him being gay, his mother dying in a car accident, his dad having multiple health issues that always threatened to end his life, him being bullied and forcefully kissed by a closet-case bully, and him being rejected from NYADA when he had a perfect audition and Rachel choked but still got accepted.

If those were all punishments for all the times he did something considered bad, then why this?

Why did he have to be cheated on multiple times by a man he was completely in love with? Reminded by said man every time he cheated that Kurt was nothing but a pathetic doormat? 

And that was the ultimate punishment. 

Being constantly ruined by the person he cared for most in the world. And what's worst, he had accepted it completely this time. He deserved to go and notify Blaine that it was okay that he was breaking Kurt's heart bit by bit.

"You look worried. Did something bad happen?" Sebastian's voice echoed throughout the empty loft. 

Kurt turned towards Sebastian and swallowed. He forgot to mention that another punishment was Kurt being too nice and allowing his old ex-enemy to stay in him and Rachel's apartment for a while. 

He really was not in the mood for Sebastian's snarky attitude, so he was grateful when Sebastian instead came off as worried.

"Not really. Just stuff." Kurt said calmly.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows, aware that there was definitely something wrong. He had lived with Kurt and Rachel long enough to know when something was bothering either of them, whether it was something small or big.

"Stuff huh? What kind of stuff?" Sebastian said as he sat down next to Kurt on the couch. Kurt rolled his eyes and pulled his blanket up to his knees, which were folded at his chest.

"Do I have to tell you?" Kurt whispered while glancing at Sebastian. He saw the guy nod as a smirk went to his face, causing Kurt to look down at the fabric in front of him.

"I'm going to go meet up with Blaine to discuss.....our circumstances." He knew Sebastian would know what he meant by his last two words.

Sebastian had been here when Blaine cheated the first time, and, despite his protests, when he did exactly what he was about to do. Telling him this was probably going to result in Sebastian either not caring or telling Kurt he was stupid.

"Why would you? He cheated on you Kurt, again! Why are you clinging on to that asshole?!" Sebastian's body was now fully facing Kurt's.

"It's none of your business what I do. Why do you even care? Besides, whether Blaine cheats or not, he's the only person who can put up with my pathetic self and say he loves me." Kurt's eyes were filling with tears as he half yelled and half whispered.

"Shouldn't you be happy about all of this? Seeing me pathetically crying because of the fact I can accept only being important to a cheating-" Kurt was cut off by Sebastian gently putting his lips to Kurt's. 

Kurt's eyes widened at the action and he stayed stiff for the few seconds Sebastian's lips were on his.

Sebastian pulled back and stared into the wet blueness of Kurt's eyes. 

"Your important to me Kurt." Sebastian whispered lightly.

Kurt scrunched up his nose as the tears overflowed and he was pulled into Sebastian's arms. He whimpered throughout his sobs and took a second to look up at the clock, realizing he only had an hour before his scheduled meet up with Blaine.

He scooted out of Sebastian's arms, rubbed his eyes dry, and looked frantically between the clock and the worried boy in front of him. They gazed into each other's eyes as if they were both searching for something.

Kurt's eyes watered again as he realized the warmth he was feeling from Sebastian's comfort. 

"Don't let me go." Kurt said in a broken voice.

Sebastian nodded and pulled Kurt into his arms again, placing a light kiss to Kurt's soft head.

"I won't."


	2. I Am Finally Loved By You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I ended up listening to you guys and went ahead and made a new chapter. This was a lot of fun to write and I hope I met your expectations. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

It's been two months since Kurt was last in contact with Blaine. 

He tried to stay friends with him, he really did, but Blaine would non-stop try and pressure Kurt back into a relationship and it started to make him feel uncomfortable.

And in these two months Kurt has tried to gain back his self-esteem. He's tried to believe that he was important to the friends and family around him, to gain the thing Blaine had taken away from him.

Trust.

He trusts his dad, he trusts Carole, he trusts Finn, he trusts Rachel, and he trusts Sebastian. And more importantly, he trusts himself now.

He trusts himself when he looks in the mirror and thinks he looks fine. He trusts himself when he buys a piece of clothing that he thinks would look really good on him. He trusts himself when he eats something that's fattening. 

He even trusts himself to have an opinion about something or someone. 

He no longer thinks he's fat and needs to lose weight, he no longer thinks he's ugly and only Blaine could love him, he no longer thinks he's pathetic and a doormat, and he no longer thinks about deserving someone's emotional abuse.

He's happy. Happy beyond belief. And he's glad Sebastian kept him from forgiving Blaine again.

Sebastian.

If anyone has helped him these past months, it's Sebastian. He's the one who constantly reminded Kurt it was okay to be himself, to remind him it's okay to gag when Finn and Rachel make out, to remind him it's okay to be jealous of other couples, to remind him it's okay to be loved the way he's always wanted to be loved.

Sebastian makes him feel good, amazing, and sexy. He's made him feel like he's actually loved, the way Blaine never made him feel.

He made Kurt realize that after Blaine cheated the first time, he had fallen out of love. He made Kurt realize that he just fooled himself because he thought he knew that Blaine was the only person on Earth who could love him. 

All this time, it's been Sebastian. Especially after he kissed Kurt to prove he was important to someone other than Blaine. 

The kiss.

Once Kurt got himself together, he couldn't stop thinking about the chaste kiss they shared that night. He always lifted his fingers to his lips as he tried to remember how soft Sebastian's kiss had been. And every time he laughs at himself.

The person who had tried to get into Blaine's pants back in high school and steal him away. Kurt hated him then, yet he loved him now. Who could have guessed it would turn out that way. 

But then again, Kurt never thought Blaine would cheat either. 

He was confused none the less. He was sure that Sebastian's kiss was nothing but platonic, a way to show Kurt that other people could care about him. And he wanted it to be more than platonic, he really did. 

He didn't know what to do about being in love with Sebastian. A long time ago he would do everything in his power to make sure Sebastian would be aware of his feelings, but now that he had grown up, he knew the consequences that his actions could cause. If he was too forward, Sebastian would get uncomfortable and disappear in time if he had no feelings for Kurt whatsoever. 

If only he could find out a way to approach Sebastian in a way that wouldn't be awkward or out of the blue.

And because he was a adult now and only ever had one boyfriend, he was extremely troubled on how to express his feelings. That and the fact that unlike Blaine, Kurt has known Sebastian for a long time without being involved romantically. 

If he confessed, he could possibly lose Sebastian's friendship if he didn't feel the same, and that was scary to Kurt. It scared Kurt just how special Sebastian had become to him. He was sure that Sebastian was more special now then Blaine had ever been to him. 

Sure, Sebastian had a difficult personality and he had spent most of his high school life taunting Kurt for his fashion sense and gay face, but he still ended up falling in love with him. 

And that meant everything to Kurt.

He was sitting in his bed reading a book for one of his classes, the whole loft filled with silence. Everyone had moved out. 

Rachel had moved in with Finn when he found a apartment a few blocks down. Sebastian had found his own place as well and moved out a couple weeks ago. It was lonely, but Kurt could live by himself.

It was times like these that Kurt could think back to a time where Blaine and him had discussed moving into a house together after a year of college. Two months ago, Kurt would be smiling at the memory, but now he just grimaced. Surely it would have ended up being hell if Kurt had lived with Blaine. Now he hated the thought of being stuck with the cheater all night long, sharing a bed that Blaine would have tainted with someone else's cum. 

It was also times like these that Kurt wished Sebastian was here, sitting in bed with him as he made fun of Kurt's choice of doing homework. Now that, that made him smile uncontrollably. It would make him think that it wouldn't be so bad to share a bed every night with Sebastian, and that would make him feel even lonelier.

He sighed and closed his book, dropping it on the bed. He looked at the time on his phone. Maybe he could ask Sebastian to come over and have dinner with him. He nodded and texted Sebastian.

**To: Meerkat**

**From: Kurt**

_Wanna come over and eat dinner? I could order take out and we could watch a movie._

Kurt got up off the bed and headed towards the living room to sit on the couch and turn the TV on. His phone dinged, notifying him that he had gotten a text message.

**To: Princess**

**From: Sebastian**

_Sounds like a plan. I'll be there in 15 minutes. Also, I get to choose the movie princess._

He smiled at the reply and put his phone on the coffee table. Even if he couldn't call this a date, spending time with Sebastian made him undeniably happy even if it was just a friendly get together.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He suddenly felt so small in the huge loft, like he was the only one on the apartment building. He looked around and took the time to actually realize just how empty it looked without Rachel or Sebastian's stuff littered around. 

It looked lonely. It felt lonely.

He felt lonely.

Maybe it was because he had always lived with someone. After his mom passed, it was just him and his dad. His house was then filled with Carole and Finn, which made it feel even warmer and full. Then he moved to New York where he stayed with Rachel and later had Sebastian join. Blaine, Sam, and Finn would always come over as each of them had a reason to be there.

Now it was just him. 

It was finally dawning on him just how lonely he felt, and he didn't like it at all. He would have to be alone for a long time now that everyone moved out and had a life to live. Other than his classes, Kurt never had a reason to go out. All of his friends stopped scheduling things to attend together, always going on dates and achieving their dreams.

He shook his head as a knock sounded on his door. He got up off the couch and slid open his door revealing Sebastian.

"We are so watching The Flash, even though it's a TV show. I remember you losing a bet and having me get you into it as a punishment." Sebastian said as he stepped into the loft.

Kurt smiled and rolled his eyes, closing the door behind Sebastian.

"Fine. Let's get this over with." Kurt said and chuckled slightly afterwards. 

He grabbed his phone and ordered them a pizza as Sebastian started the first episode of The Flash on his TV. 

Soon the pizza arrived and they dug in, Kurt laughing as Sebastian displayed how hungry he was. 

While the second episode began to play, Kurt glanced over at Sebastian who was chuckling at a joke one of the characters said. He smirked at how Sebastian looked handsome as always.

He looked ahead so he wouldn't stare too long and get caught, instead getting lost in his thoughts. 

The loft felt so full with Sebastian now here, sitting beside him like he always did two weeks ago. Kurt no longer felt lonely and no longer felt like he was the only one in the whole building. It only added to the fact that living with Sebastian wouldn't be bad at all. That in turn led Kurt into thinking about how much happier he could be with Sebastian around.

All the mornings he could wake up to find Sebastian lying in bed with him. All the times they could cook breakfast together while reading the newspaper. All the times they could snuggle on the couch as the day went by. All the times they could exchange sweet kisses, hold hands, and run their hands through the other's hair. All the times Kurt could look at Sebastian and say he loved him.

But there was a very good chance that he could never experience those things with Sebastian. 

And Kurt's heart broke at the realization of that fact.

"Kurt, why are you crying?" Sebastian's voice said as Kurt snapped out of his thoughts.

He looked at Sebastian and was surprised to find his eyes staring into Kurt's. He touched his face lightly and found that it was indeed wet with tears. 

He panicked and wiped his face furiously. He couldn't believe he had just burst into tears in front of Sebastian.

He covered his face with his hands and shook his head, embarrassed more than anything. Sebastian was trying to pull the blanket away as he said, "Kurt, what's wrong? I need you to calm down and tell me what's wrong so I can help." 

Kurt shook his head again and hissed, "I can't tell you!" 

Sebastian grunted and yanked the blanket from Kurt's hands, grabbing them and pushing them away from his face.

"Yes you can. You should know by now that I won't judge you. I want you to tell me what's wrong Kurt.....Please." Sebastian stroked his face gently as he spoke.

Kurt looked into Sebastian's eyes and gulped. Even though he didn't want to, he would have to confess his feelings.

"I.....I...was just thinking....about..uh.." Kurt sniffed and looked downwards, trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. Sebastian was just nodding along, waiting for Kurt to continue.

"I was just so happy you were here...because it's been lonely here all by myself. And I....I started thinking how happy I could be if....you...were always with me. Because I.....I want the person I love..you..to always be around." Kurt closed his eyes tight, feeling the air around him stiffen as he choked out the last sentence. 

He was scared.

"Kurt...." Sebastian began but was cut off by a panicked Kurt.

"I'm so sorry Sebastian. I....I'm sorry that I like you...even though you've been such a good friend and this whole time I was....thinking about how great it would be if you were in love with me..and now it's probably really awkward and you don't want to be my friend any-" He was cut off as Sebastian pressed his lips to Kurt's, just like he did that night.

He didn't know what exactly to think or do. He hadn't expected this to happen tonight....or ever. 

This kiss was just as chaste as their last one. Sebastian rubbed his thumb against Kurt's cheekbone as he leaned out and looked gently into Kurt's eyes.

"Don't apologize Kurt. I've been in love with you for a while now. I came to terms with my feelings the night I kissed you a couple months ago. I just never did anything because you were still recovering from your last relationship." He said quietly.

Kurt gulped and wiped his eyes as he said, "Really?"

Sebastian smiled and leaned in again, pressing his lips firmly to the boy next to him. This time Kurt kissed back happily, another tear running down his face.

The kiss soon turned heated as Sebastian licked Kurt's bottom lip, gaining entrance and caressing Kurt's tongue with his own. He whimpered at the contact and ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair, surely messing it up.

They sat there on the couch, kissing for what seemed like hours before Kurt found himself being lifted off the couch and laid on the his bed. 

He looked up at Sebastian with wonder in his eyes. Sebastian himself seemed conflicted as he didn't know what he should do next.

"Is something wrong?" Kurt asked. Sebastian closed his eyes briefly before looking down at Kurt again.

"I just....I need to know what you want. I don't want to pressure you into doing this. I.....I want you so much, I do. But, are you sure you want me the same way?" Sebastian held his breath.

Kurt slowly took Sebastian's hand in his and guided it to his heart.

"Sebastian, I'm so sure. I have for a long time. I....I want this because I love you."  Kurt gripped Sebastian's hand tighter. 

Sebastian smiled for a second before sitting Kurt up and kissed him passionately.

He separated their lips stroking the side of Kurt's face before whispering, "I love you too. I'll be gentle, I promise." 

Kurt nodded before connecting their lips once again, smiling into it. 

* * *

Sebastian opened his eyes slightly as he was met with a bright light. He closed his eyes again and rolled over, jumping slightly when he felt someone else beside him.

He opened his eyes again and found Kurt snuggled up beside his arm. 

He smiled warmly at the boy he loved and wrapped his arms around him. Kurt hummed at the gesture and scooted closer into Sebastian's embrace.

Maybe this was how all their mornings could be.

 


End file.
